Lets say you cut an apple and accidentally cut yourself – youre most likely going to clean it, put a patch on it and let the wound heal and close. After that the next time you cut an apple you are more careful.
But are we doing the same thing when we hurt mentally? When we get mad, angry, frustrated, disappointed or get triggered by old memories from past traumas? We tend to suppress it or distract our thought with things that we enjoy more than feeling the pain. I know you and I and many others tend to do it because it is easier. Of course we enjoy positive feelings more and to be happy is all we are trying to do.
But to heal we need to feel, sit with the emotions for a while, maybe analyze it but definitely not blame yourself for your bad feelings. They are just as important as the good ones. Healing often is not as beautiful as we imagine it to be, but it is very important. Why?
Only when we heal we can learn out of a negative experience. This is how we grow. We enjoy the good times and keep the bad ones in our subconscious mind so we can enjoy more happiness. It can feel like hope and hurt and confusion but also like a mess, mood swings or very neutral feeling. It is your personal journey.
Relationships and breakups are a good example. You heal from the breakup so you aren‘t constantly sad, so you can forgive, move on, keep doing what you want to do and what makes you happy – open your heart for more love – most importantly for self love.
Healing is an act of selflove and selflove consists out of healing and forgiving. Not only other people but yourself as well.
It is also acceptance so you are aware of the act that you cannot change past things and that no matter how bad your pain was it happened for a reason. think about the one or other experience that helped you make a better decision. In the end Im thankful for them as well.
When you heal – You can also understand that other people actions have nothing to do with you. For example someone who is not happy with themselves would intentionally try to trigger you with the breakup or say mean thing about you behind your back.
This is a hard pill to swallow but it is for your best to forgive no matter how much pain and anger someone made you feel. You can forgive and still have no contact or avoid it. It is not for their benefit but for yours. So you can untie yourself from the past and leave the negative feelings there. Trust me nobody wants to feel the same emotions just because of thinking about the past event. It is not happening in the moment anymore.
“Remember, when you forgive, you heal. And when you let go, you grow.”
I am not only talking about healing from the past. This is going to be your self-care for your whole life. Remember whenever you do feel any kind of negative emotion, allow yourself to feel it. Work through it, do what works for you because we all are different. Cry it out, write it out, talk it out, express yourself with art, music or anything you are passionate about but never numb your feelings.
Then also don’t take everything personal, love yourself and love others – even if its from a bigger distance…